American Horror Story: Asylum -2×8- Unholy Night

Well we can take child rape and male prison rape off the list of tortured topics they need to cover.

Lily Rabe is truly rocking it. I bet the Devil enjoys the irony of sitting around listening to Christmas Carols.

I was legitimately surprised by the Arden double-double turn. I thought the Devil would catch him since she can read minds but I didn't think he was playing Jude. And man did she fall for it easily. Also on his front, Aliens seem real not since he's the first sober non-mental patient to see them aside from Kit in the pilot.

Lana should have killed Ollie when she had the chance or at least chained him and called the cops. I'm glad they did a somewhat explanation of how she ended up back so quickly. I wonder if Kit would be so quick to let Ollie live if he knew there was not a shred of evidence left that he's Bloodyface. Even if Lana's preggers it means nothing.

Poor Frank, you can't be a good guy there.

Bad Santa was awesome.

Revenge -2×9- Revelations

This didn't feel like a midseason finale to me. Nothing was resolved - they didn't show us who the guy on the boat is, they didn't resolve the issue of Nolan's money, they didn't really explain the guy from Nolan's past any further, they didn't advance the plot with the initiative. It was a pretty solid "buildup" episode, but in the end I found myself thinking that I would have been better off watching something else.

I don't think that Jack's friend made it. I think he started the rumor that he got him to the hospital in order to draw out the two brothers for...some reason. Still not sure where they're going with this.

Can Emily 'please' get back to doing Revengey things? There are angles they could play - Nolan and Jack both need her help right now, but she's too busy playing detective with her Season 2 love interest. I realize that the writers want him to be this suave, badass, James Bond type, but he's just sooooo boring. I realize that they've sort of written Jack and Daniel out as potential love interests right now, but I don't think that was the right move to begin with, and I don't think that this Aiden character is a viable contender for a long-term love interest.

The Walking Dead -3×8- Made to Suffer

As much as I'm enthralled by The Walking Dead this season, I have to call out the show for replacing one black guy with another again. It's bad enough that it suggests that they're afraid, for some reason, to have more than one, but it also suggests an imagined interchangeability that is really problematic. I hope Tyreese gets a lot more respect from the writers.


I was someone who was calling for Carl's death last season, but this season I'm a huge fan. His courage and resourcefulness and adaptability speak to my Stephen King-conditioned child hero-loving core. Instead of being creepy, the ease with which he does what's necessary plays, for me, like it should: part tragic, part admirable. I really loved him playing leader this week and saving Tyreese's group, while also being careful and smart about protecting his own people. He ditches the hat and he could become one of my favorites.


Loved Glenn repurposing the zombie's bones as a weapon. Badass.

I know they wouldn't kill off Daryl, but I was still panicking during that final scene. I am pleased to have him and Merle reunited, though, and although they did miss an opportunity by giving Merle a reason to turn on the Governor right away, I am kind of happy that they'll have to work together immediately, and that Rick and Co., in going back for Daryl, will have to decide what to do about Merle.

Instead of being annoyed at Andrea for saving the Governor and not being too bothered by the wall o'heads, I'm actually going to consider it an interesting development. This whole time I've been assuming that she's just being dumb, but maybe she'll actually go all-in for the Governor, and be an adversary to the group. I think how shocked she was at the end might make that unlikely, but it'll certainly be a more interesting use of her than one that requires my continued sympathy.

Once Upon A Time -2×9- Queen of Hearts

Wow Gold was a dick this episode. I really wanted him to get more shit for talking Regina into helping him try to kill off Emma and Snow than he did. I realize that wasn't his real motivation, but his "win/win" speech was awful enough that I'm praying Belle somehow finds out about it.

God I love Lana Parilla. She's always great (which keeps me from really hating Regina, no matter what she does on this show), but she was fantastic this episode. Lana deserves an aware for the level of vulnerability she showed. I still don't know how I feel about her redemption though. Even though all of her behavior was above board tonight (I did really believe her when she said she was helping Gold out of concern for Henry and not to keep Emma away), the whole thing still feels way too rushed. Decades of deep evil, cleared up after a couple of weeks? A longer tradition from evil to grey to good would feel better.

I liked Mulan this episode. Figures she'd stop bugging me as soon as he arc was ending. I loved the moment between Aurora and Mulan at the end. If they had shown that much chemistry earlier, I may have cared more about them. And yes, it did seem like they were ready to kiss.

Speaking of things you don't expect to see on family TV, was anyone else surprised by Hook's level of innuendo while fighting Emma? I know he's a roguish pirate, but I wasn't expecting pervy commentary on OUaT. I liked it, but it was a bit of a shock.

The Vampire Diaries -4×7- My Brother’s Keeper

Somehow, Matt and Jeremy became my favorite characters. And there need to be more Caroline/Stefan scenes. I like when the characters are allowed to interact with people who aren't Elena.

Caroline and Hayley were having a contest for who could wear the shortest, most inappropriate dress. Since they both lost their dignity, neither should win, but I'll give the edge to Hayley for sporting a glorified slip. And in red! Slutty!

I don't usually mind the triangle, but c'mon writers. Jeremy almost kills his sister, and everyone focuses on romantic drama? Stefan forcibly pushes Jeremy down the path that almost results in the kid killing his sister and everyone focuses on romantic drama? Elena has to move out of her childhood home and everyone focuses on romantic drama? I know there's something in the water in Mystic Falls

What Stefan did to Jeremy. Well, well. He's no better than Damon trying to sacrifice Bonnie or Abby for Elena. Did he really think turning Jeremy into a Hunter would help him get his girlfriend back?

There are few things I love about this show more than Damon making fun of Jeremy. No, he doesn't really have the right, but it's always hilarious.

Also? I really like the idea of Caroline and Klaus, but not when he's acting like he lives on a planet inhabited by care bears and unicorns. Next, he'll be talking about the time he snuggled with a koala while exploring New Zealand. There's a lot of potential there, the world Klaus can offer Caroline and all he can teach her, and how much he can learn from her about insecurity and guilt and stopping hating himself.

American Horror Story: Asylum -2×7- Dark Cousin

There were so many things going on in this episode. All traumatizing to me.

I hate rape scenes. HATE THEM. I figured it was coming 2 episodes ago but I still wasn't prepared for that. The people on the internet who are still shipping her with Thredson(and describing that scene as a sex scene and not rape) after that scene need to be in an asylum themselves.

Lana has the work luck ever.

Sister Mary Satan continues to entertain the ever loving shit out of me. I love her machinations. From smacking down Arden to knowing all along who Bloody Face was. And that showdown between her and the Angel of Death gave me goosebumps. I want more scenes of them together. Lily Rabe was doing the damn thing this episode. This role is so much better for her than last season.

Oh, and the real Mary Eunice is still in there screaming to be saved. Somebody help her! I bet it will be Sister Jude in the end.

Can't wait Santa Ian Mcshane next week!

Modern Family -4×9- When a Tree Falls

I really love the visual gags they come up with on this show like Cam as a cat in a tree!

As a Say Anything fanatic I loved that Phil pulled a Lloyd Dobler to get Claire back, but of course Phil being Phil he uses Olivia Newton John instead of Your Eyes.

I seriously thought gloria's water had broken. At first when the Costco manager said that if she really was having a baby or a turkey, i thought she was going to throw something at him.

The Walking Dead -3×7- When the Dead Come Knocking

With one episode left to go, the verdict is in for me: This half-season was fantastic. They fixed the biggest problem of the show in a major way, and that is pacing. The conflict between Rick's gang and the Woodberries has been set up pretty much perfectly, which even makes suffering through Andrea's scenes seem worthwhile. I don't think I've ever been as giddy about this show as I was during the last 5 minutes of this episode. Previously, the inter-human conflicts have seemed to distract from the zombie mayhem, but the Governor and his troupe have been set up so well as adversaries that I can't wait for this to go down. Loyalties are going to be put to the test on both sides. The outcome is completely unpredictable to me.

Episode was great, with one exception. I thought the concept of a hermit camping out in the red zone, seemingly oblivious to what's going on (asking for a badge?) was patently silly and the scene didn't seem to add anything other than some blood and guts.

I really liked the character moments at the prison (Carol reunion, Carl/Rick heart-to-heart) and I almost wish there was more of it. I'm terribly worried about the people left behind. That parting shot of them felt really foreboding to me. Those four (plus Axel) presumably going up against Merle and a bunch of mercenaries? Does not look good in the slightest. There's some people there I really, really don't want to die.

Revenge -2×8- Lineage

I usually enjoy flashbacks so I can get more backstory, but almost an entire episode taken up by flashbacks and all we really learned is that Victoria had a jealous selfish insecure bitch monster of a mother (no surprise), how Aiden and Amanda met, and Daniel wrote bad poetry? None of that is really a surprise. I mean, most college freshmen write bad poetry so that's pretty par for the course. Conrad has been planning for Daniel to join the company since birth so no surprise that he burned said poetry (even though by 2006, we had these cool things called computers where you could store things like poetry). I think we've known from the beginning that Victoria is a schemer so her revenge plan on her mother was no surprise either (nor were the circumstances that caused her to want revenge).

The only other things we learned were that Amanda helped Ashley but Ashley didn't know who she was, Nolan dated another one of his CFOs, and the Porters were always boring. If next week is the winter finale, I want to see some fireworks to balance out how little action we got this week.

Ashley was an idiot. What did she think she would do with an MFA in art history ANYWHERE?

Once Upon a Time (2011) -2×8- Into the Deep

I liked that Granny's savvy enough to want to keep paying customers well, and preemptively called for the diner to close. She's heard that tone of Regina's before and Granny wasn't gonna take chances!

For a minute, I was concerned that David wasn't sitting down to pick his finger; I didn't realize they were in the same space as where Henry was on the cot. It would've been poor David's luck to get gung-ho and not think about after the spell took over. Speaking of luck, I'm beginning to think like Snow- they are cursed to small periods of happiness because they believe in each other so strongly. That's why they are constantly torn away from each other, because they do find each other in the end.

Ginnifer Goodwin needs a frickin' Emmy. She plays such a range of emotions most every week! The scene with Emma about blame, the scene in the Fiery Room with David, her 'welp, nice to meet ya, Mulan' 'tude as she readied to freakin' kill Mulan! Snow is on par with Granny as far as badass grandmas go, imo. Mulan's almost acceptance of Snow's choice was interesting. Aurora is her line in the sand; Storybrooke is Snow's. Of course, Mulan didn't know (and could probably care less) about David's situation, but Mulan has been shown to be pragmatic, mostly. I have to agree with Mulan about one thing: they are doing a hella lot of walking. I get tired thinking about how much walking they do in one episode (in Enchanted Present.) It's always in a time crunch too, so I kinda feel part of where Mulan was coming from- we traipse to place X, you talk to someone from your world, we traipse to place Y to find object J and you talk to someone in your dream again. We have to haul ass to place Z and find Object T...

IA that the Aurora heart-snatch was out of left-field to me. I can understand that the three big images of the series have the knowledge, but Hook? Really Show? Also, you can give control of the heart to whomever you wish, as seen with Hook letting Cora control Aurora? Granted, we've only seen folks who want to directly control the folks whose hearts have been removed,but this seems...too easy(?).

I know that the magic diamonds have just been found, show-wise, but shouldn't the fairies be a little more involved in watching over the town, as well as David and Henry as they are the folks who can help them regain their powers? Something I was just wondering. Plus I love Grumpy and Astra(?).